Recently I just asked the question to my followers if I should open up more, and the answer was definitely, that people want to know the real me and my life, and also other bloggers who might spark their interest. I think along with opening up, it might also be helpful to give people insight into my mindset, and it may help people who seek help in finding their way, getting over their next hurdle, or seeking more success.
I often say “YES, I can” or “YES, I want to try” or “YES, let’s go!” (excluding jumping from an airplane). It may be frightening to most people to take on more tasks, to leave everything behind that does not make you happy, make major changes, or to just leave and go do that trip you’ve been wanting to do.
Saying no limits you from experience, it limits you from pushing your boundaries to really see how far you can go, saying no basically means that you have no interest in learning or discovering that part of life. I do believe there are times that you should say no, like to addictive drugs, or absolutely dangerous stunts, risky behavior with strangers, life threatening things etc. However, saying yes to more adventures or opportunities can give you so much more possibility and reach in your life. I have listed below some reasons why you should say “YES, I can”
1) YES, I can be decisive
One of the biggest lessons I have learned in life, is that being decisive is extremely important for your sanity and your life’s journey. There are countless decisions we need to make each day, let alone each year, it is what can put us ahead or behind. The choices you make today will decide your future.
2) YES, I can go
We all make excuses and give ourselves reasons why it is not the right time to go somewhere, even if you’ve been wanting to do it for a week, a month or years. Waiting on others can also be an issue here. If you are ready but the only thing holding you back is the fear of getting out of the bird’s nest, then you will stay in hiding for a lot longer. The mind and body are very adaptable, pushing ourselves outside our comfort zone can help give us growth and maturity. If your friend reaches out asking if you want to go on a trip in a few month’s time, try your best to make it happen if that’s what you’d love to do. You can always rearrange your life for people, activities and things that bring you joy.
Personal experience: I was living in NYC and desperately wanted to go to Europe and travel, but friends in the US and those I knew in Europe were not receptive to the travel idea, and I didn’t know enough people to stay at their places. Meanwhile, I was trying to get my life together in the city, but my mind was far away. When I look back at that time, I realized that I was scared to leave by myself, worried about how I would navigate foreign transportation, my lodgings, expenses, but now I realize it would have been better to just leave and make it happen. Luckily, my now husband, invited me to come along and travel with him one summer, and that same week I was on a plane and left the life I no longer wanted in NYC.
3) YES, I can be happier
Realizing you are unhappy is the first step, understanding why and how you can change it is the next, and implementing the change is how you can improve your situation.
Personal experience: I found myself going down the rabbit hole of NYC partying, meeting celebrities, social climbing, etc. Did this help my overall happiness? Not exactly. I knew I was meeting interesting, important people, but I was drifting further away from where I had started and where I wanted to end up for a more wholesome life. I wanted sustainable growth and happiness and all sides pointed that I was in an emotionally vacant cycle. I chose to be happier, to change my life and to trust and depend on certain individuals to get me out of that world.
4) YES, I want to
You need to decipher what it is you want to do and what you don’t want to do. This is some deep self-reflection. What do you envision yourself doing and making you happiest? Learn your likes and dislikes and so when people ask you if you want to do something you can say Yes, or no, without hesitation. Do you enjoy concerts, plays, hiking, sports, drinking with friends, clubbing? Or do you prefer other things? Find out what gives you that spark. This can also relate to dating: when someone asks you out, is this a person you could see yourself with down the line? Is this someone who could actually build a real future with you? Is this person your type? You can end up spending a lot of time with the wrong people. Know the core values of the person you are seeking and try to learn those as soon as possible of someone you are truly considering as a life partner. Do you want to go out on a date with someone who doesn’t excite you? But also remember, no one is perfect, and anyone can change and develop as time goes on.
5) YES, I do
Being in a happy marriage is proven to give you a longer life, more wealth and more happiness. This has to do with finding an emotional support system and meaningful companionship. Being in the wrong relationship is detrimental in the opposite manner, but if you find someone that compliments your life, then accept this person into your life. This has to do with deciding to commit, if it is not right, it is not right.
Personal experience: I always knew that I wanted to get married at some point in my life, but who, where and when that would happen was completely up in the air. For a very long time I was scared of commitment and whenever someone would try to get closer, I would push away. My intentions were to lead people on without giving back my full self, to feel needed and to give myself options. Sometimes we need to take that leap of faith and trust that other person and their intentions to share a life with you. Maybe that’s who you were looking for your whole life, but fear of making the wrong choice got in the way of letting that relationship progress.
6) YES, I can make friends
Try not to shut people out if they are there for you, reach out to you, or make a conscious effort to keep in touch. Also, make sure to open new friendships when it seems right, and also make sure those you care about know it. These people matter now and will matter, they are the extended family you choose.
Personal experience: While living in Germany I realized that in the particular area, it was very uncommon for foreigners to live and there were very few people I could relate to for friendship. It seems that family is the most important and that friends are secondary to none in the countryside. I made sure to keep in contact with my friends who were back home or traveling so that I could have more support and give support, friendship is vital to help you relate to the world.
7) YES, I can do that work:
If you have the basic skills and experience, and have spent lots of time learning about an industry, you have the right to say “yes, I can do that project”. Taking on more responsibility is a natural way to grow and educate yourself and to help others achieve their goals in business.
Saying YES to opportunities opens a lot more doors for you and others for a more successful future. Be confident in your knowledge and embrace the real world, or create your own slice in the market share of the world trade and services.
8) YES, I can let go of old habits
Maybe that destructive habit was once a good time, but is it becoming a problem? Make sure to lessen the bad habits in your life and try to practice healthier habits like eating right, working out, drinking less, and start to circulate positive, life bettering thoughts.
9) YES, I can schedule
The mind should not always be blanketed in chaos, we need to see the big picture from afar and plan our lives accordingly. At one point living in chaos is no longer exciting, but detrimental to your peace. My husband and I have been focusing on moving back to the states, to settle down and to focus on our work and building a life there. Traveling is amazing to develop your experiences, knowledge and achieving dreams. I think it is also great when you are in between times of your life, for instance, you are no longer a student, not yet fully in your career, and trying to fully embrace your youth. Having a 1 year plan, a 5 year plan, or even a 10 year plan is really healthy for developing stability and a clear focus. You should always plan in fun, but you should also have structure to be productive. Follow your dreams but make sure you set a timeline to accomplish them.
10) YES, I can live there
You can always switch cities or move abroad, moving is good! If you dream of something else, go out there and make it happen. There are so many online resources to help you make the move.
Personal experience: I was always curious about living in Germany, and it all of a sudden happened! I began as a student and was able to get a student visa easily for 2.5 years, and could travel within Europe and back to the States with no problems. However, when trying to bring a spouse back to the states it is extremely time consuming with multiple steps to the process. As an American it is much easier to go off and live in new countries, something that should be taken advantage of! You can always come back to your roots, just like I will be with my husband, step daughter and pups in the very near future.
Catherine Wanders 